Exploring the pressures and responsibilities of being the eldest daughter

WASHINGTON (TND) — "Eldest Daughter Syndrome" is an unofficial mental health diagnosis to describe what some call the unique pressures and responsibilities that come with being the oldest daughter in the family.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kati Morton gave eight signs of "Eldest Daughter Syndrome" in a post that has gone viral.

The eight signs that you have "eldest daughter syndrome" are:

You have an intense feeling of responsibility

You are an overachiever, Type A, and very driven

You worry a lot and probably have anxiety

You struggle with people-pleasing behaviors

You have a hard time placing and upholding boundaries

You resent your siblings and family

You struggle with feelings of guilt

You have a difficult time in your adult relationships

It's helpful to listen to people talking about it to read about it and see what rings true for you because it can show you some of the ways that you could work to improve yourself," Morton told The National Desk's Janae Bowens in a one-on-one interview.

She added it is not clear how much birth order matters even though some oldest daughters say they have the personality traits associated with "Eldest Daughter Syndrome."

"The research is mixed at best. Some research will say yes, you can have these certain traits, but when you really start digging into it, everybody's going to be different because, I mean, think about our family dynamics," she noted.

According to a 2015 study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, birth order may only impact intellect, not personality. Another study in the Journal of Research in Personality found similar results with partial correlations between birth order and cognitive abilities.

Dr. Leigh Richardson, the CEO of the Brain Performance Center, said "Eldest Daughter Syndrome" isn't real in every family; it's popular because many people desire to understand who they are.

"In the last two years coming out of COVID, it changed a big piece of our identity. I mean, for five weeks, my business was shut down. I couldn't go to the gym. I couldn't go to church. It really did impact me," she shared. "We're looking for something that we can kind of say, okay, that's who I am. That's why I think the way I think."

"A lot of us are seeking to understand ourselves on a greater level, which is wonderful," Morton added.

It is not just the eldest daughters who sometimes feel like a third parent.

"My brother's older, but the fact that when we would go home from school I would always feel like I was responsible for cooking us meals," Morton shared. "I also definitely feel more of an emotional responsibility to the family as a whole."

Even though I'm the youngest, I'm the only daughter and there's something about being a girl that for some reason, we can feel extra responsibility for things and so it really struck a chord with me.

There is no official "Eldest Son Syndrome," but firstborn sons face pressure in different ways. Morton said these men often feel they need a strong career path and make good money, whereas first-born daughters feel more pressure to take care of things at home.

"Different cultures and firstborn means different things. Certainly, as far as inheritance goes, if you're the firstborn male, you're the one that is going to be the first one to receive the inheritance," Richardson noted. "There's a lot of stigma associated with being the firstborn."

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